If I am lucky in any way,
it is with my family.
I’ve been blessed with wonderful parents who live right here, and with kids who actually enjoy being together. I recently got to have dinner with my parents and my kids, which has me thinking about multi-generational lessons. What do I have to learn about health and wellness from my mom, and what do I want to make sure my daughter knows?
1. Sunscreen. Every day. Mom wasn’t a sunbather by any means, but as a lifeguard, a gardener, and a camper, she spent plenty of unprotected hours in the sun. And just like the women of her generation, her skin shows the consequences of those rays. I know it sounds like a broken record from me, but our moms would all want us to protect our skin—so we can age gracefully of course, but also to avoid cancer. So sunscreen. Every day.
2. Start moving. NOW. Like most of our moms, mine was and is a BUSY woman—raising kids, teaching full-time, keeping the house afloat. But she didn’t take a whole lot of time for herself, particularly when it came to exercise. Women of her generation just didn’t. And sadly, the rates of diabetes, osteoporosis, and weight issues for women in their 70s and up are evidence of what happens if self-care is always put on the back burner. So please, start moving. Your mom really wants you to take care of yourself.
3. Don’t Ever Smoke. My mom didn’t smoke, but so many of her friends did. It was cool, sophisticated, and the dangers weren’t as widely known as they are now. We all know what the consequences from smoking are when it comes to heart disease, cancer, lung disease, and stroke. And while it may sound vain, let’s not ignore what it does to your teeth, your skin, and your nails. If you want to look old before your time, smoking will do it! Think about the women of your mother’s generation and what smoking did to their health and appearance. Please, don’t do it!
Now, none of this is to say that those of us in middle age have it all figured out. We’ve made plenty of missteps of our own, which has resulted in lessons I know I’d love to pass along to my daughter and her friends. Here are just a few of my lessons learned that I hope Grace will take to heart.
1. Make smart food choices. Now. You sure wouldn’t know it now, but I spent more years than I’d like to admit with what can best be described as a lazy diet. Was it easy? I ate it. Could I just grab it and go? Fine. Did it taste ok? Good enough. My health isn’t bad, but I just have to wonder how much better off I’d be if there had been more years with a focus on fresh, local, healthy food rather than conveniences. Please start eating your fruits and veggies now. Please stay away from a high-fat, high-sodium diet. You will feel so much better in the long, long run.
2. “Having it all” is a myth. I’m NOT saying that I want young women to settle, or that they shouldn’t try to have whatever combination of education, career, and family they want. What I am saying is that the sooner they realize that the idealized image of “having it all”—a life of ease and bounty—is a dangerous myth, the better. Being an adult is hard work, having a career and family is hard work. And even if you’re really good at it, some days you’re just going to cry on the way to work because you fought with your kid. And that’s the truth.
3. Love yourself. Now. All of that being said, the most powerful thing you can do, my daughter and her young friends, is love yourself. Do you have chunky thighs? Do you struggle with anxiety? Are you still not sure what you want to be when you grow up? Guess what—it’s all ok. You are still beautiful and beloved. The trick, my dears, is to keep striving without ever doubting your greatness. Do some cardio, get into therapy, and keep looking for your bliss.
Becky Eason, PhD, is an Associate Certified Coach and Certified Leadership Coach. She would love to come with you on your journey for wellness and a happy heart. Learn more on her website: wequestforwellness.com